[离任作者] 【魔尊曲】(一)

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1楼大中小发表于 2009-2-24 09:21 显示全部帖子

故事写的挺好的,不过是不是词语再简化一些好些??
虽然写的是古代故事,但我觉得语言的使用上,可以用现代一点的
不必拘泥,成人小说这样看起来总觉得别扭,另外,开场的部分还欠缺
点新意,看来看去没有引人入胜的感觉,只是到了中后部分才开始有
些意思
感谢楼主原创作品

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王动123 金币 +4 认真回复 2009-2-24 16:53

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